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IL divorce lawyerIt is difficult to imagine life before the Internet or social media. Information that used to be found in libraries can now be found on a computer or phone with the click of a button. Sites such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter are popular with people of all ages and backgrounds. Many individuals find them an ideal way to keep in touch with family or friends who may live far away since they can post photographs and videos of themselves or their kids. Watching a soccer game or musical performance online can be a good substitution if someone cannot be there in person, especially this past year due to coronavirus restrictions. Although there are many benefits of social media, there can be negatives, too, especially if a couple is going through a divorce. In some cases, posts or comments made on a website can be used as evidence in legal proceedings such as asset division, spousal maintenance, or child custody.

Think Before Posting

Connecting with others electronically has become even more prominent during the COVID-19 pandemic. Virtual visits through video conferencing apps or SnapChat and TikTok allow people who are staying at home the ability to stay in touch with loved ones who they cannot see in person. With more time on their hands, people have turned to social media sites to pass the time. However, it is important to be careful about what is posted if you are going through a divorce, as certain things can be misinterpreted and used against you.

Consider these tips regarding social media use while your marriage is ending:

Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois child custody lawyer,Successful marriages are centered around trust. For a marriage to work, spouses need to be open and honest with each other. This is true for every aspect of a relationship, from disclosing feelings, to being completely transparent about finances. Unfortunately, marriage counselors, divorce attorneys, therapists, and mediators see financial issues at the center of marital problems all too often. Discovering that your spouse is lying about money can be devastating, and once the trust in your relationship is destroyed, rebounding back can be difficult. By learning a few key signs that can indicate a financial problem in your marriage, you can save yourself emotional stress, and likely money, but identifying the problem early. Below are a few things to look out for if you suspect your spouse of financial infidelity. They Are Secretive about Their Finances As stated above, marriages revolve around trust. If your spouse is secretive about their finances, you likely have a problem. Both you and your spouse should have a solid understanding of how much each other earns, the amount of assets you share and own individually, and how each of you handles your finances on a daily basis. If you are both completely transparent about your money, it becomes much more difficult for either one of you to hide funds or do anything else shady. Marriage experts also say that understanding each other's financial habits will help you determine how money will be handled for the future of your marriage. If you have a problem with how your spouse manages their money, you may struggle through a life of sharing finances. They Do Not Disclose Debts When you get married, both you and your spouse are committing to a lifetime of living, working, and existing together. If a spouse enters a marriage with serious debts they do not disclose, the future of the relationship is at risk. Both parties need to share any debts they have collected, including debts accrued before the relationship began. Even if the spouse responsible for the debt truly intends on paying it off themselves, they need to disclose that. One spouse with serious debt could potentially hinder shared financial decisions in the future, like applying for a home or auto loan. Reviewing both spouse's credit histories is a smart choice, and a great way to ensure both of you are moving forward together on the same page. If your spouse is hesitant to share their credit history with you, they likely have a reason to be. Perhaps they are ashamed or embarrassed about the debt they have collected, or the financial mistakes they have made, so remind them that you only want the truth so you can move forward positively. If they still resist sharing the details, you likely have a bigger issue on your hands. They Resist Signing a Prenup Convincing a spouse to sign a prenuptial agreement can be difficult. It may feel to them like you are making preparations for a break up right before you get married. They may feel like you do not trust them, or that you worry you will separate in the future. In reality, a prenuptial agreement provides peace of mind for both partners, and simply allows each party to delegate where they would like their assets to go post divorce. For couples entering marriage with only small assets, signing a prenuptial agreement is not too crucial. For couples on their second marriages, older couples, or couples with large amounts of assets prior to marriage, a prenup is definitely a smart idea. If your spouse is unwilling to sign a prenuptial agreement, that may be indicative of a bigger problem. Use caution, especially if you are entering your marriage with significant assets. They Ask You to Cosign on a Loan If your spouse does not have a strong credit score, they may ask you to cosign on a loan at some point in your relationship. This is not always indicative of a problem, however. Plenty of married couples assist each other financially, so you should not worry right off the bat if your spouse asks for help. The trouble is that people commonly agree to cosign without realizing that they are now responsible for paying back the debt. Even if you and your spouse divorce, you could still be found liable for paying back the loan. If your spouse does not handle money responsibly, and you do not trust that they will be able to pay back the debt, avoid co-signing. If you do agree to cosign on a loan, be sure to get everything in writing. Have your spouse sign a contract stating the terms of the deal and a schedule for paying the debt off. Spouses often co-sign on a loan without thinking of the future consequences. If your spouse is unable to pay back the loan, and you are left responsible for the debt, your relationship will likely be changed forever. Marriage is a partnership, so you should expect some level of supporting each other financially. If you notice anything suspicious, however, you may have a larger problem on your hands. It is one thing to help support each other, and another to be lied to or left with serious debt you did not accrue. Unfortunately, couples often discover financial secrets their spouse has been keeping long after the damage is done, and the dynamic of their relationship changes forever. The best strategy is being open and upfront with each other from the beginning.

If money issues are deteriorating your marriage, it may be time to speak to a divorce attorney. The qualified DuPage county divorce attorneys at Stock, Carlson & Duff LLC, are available to assist you today. Call 630-665-2500 to schedule a consultation with an attorney to learn more about your legal options and the services we provide.


Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois child custody attorney,Most people take their marriage vows extremely seriously. When two people say "I do," they likely truly mean it, and intend on staying together for the rest of their lives. As we all know, however, that is not a realistic outcome for every marriage. Relationships turn sour, people change, and many couples find themselves having to choose between their happiness and their marriage.

Most people, however, do not simply decide on getting divorced one day out of the blue. It is usually a culmination of many issues that all build up to an unbearable point where divorce seems like the only option. Obviously, cheating and lying are two surefire signs your marriage is in crisis, but did you know that you and your partner may be undermining your marriage without even knowing it? Here are a few ways you may be weakening your marriage unknowingly.

Emotional Dishonesty


Posted on in Divorce

Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois child custody attorney,Having a qualified attorney on your side is a key component of a successful divorce. You need someone you can trust and rely on, potentially for months or years, as they help you navigate the divorce process. Your future happiness may depend on the ability of your divorce attorney, so finding someone that is right for you is crucial. Finding the right lawyer, however, is much easier said than done. There may be many different law firms in your area, and you may not know which qualities to look for in an attorney. Finding this critical member of your divorce team can be overwhelming. Try taking these steps when searching for an attorney who is right for you. Decide What You Are Looking For The first step in finding the right attorney is deciding what criteria you are looking for. Think about the things that are important to you. Is cost an issue? Do you have a case that needs a lawyer with specific expertise? Are you more comfortable with an attorney of a certain background? Here are a few of the most common criteria people consider during their search:

  • Cost: Many people struggle with financing their divorce. Costs can vary greatly from firm to firm. As a general rule of thumb, firms that are more established charge higher rates. The better know the firm is in your community, the higher they are able to charge. Being well known, however, is not always indicative of ability. If you are trying to keep your divorce costs down, seek out a lawyer in your area that has experience, but is not as well known yet. Since they are not in as high of demand as other better known lawyers in the area, they will often charge lower rates.
  • Experience: A lawyer's credentials can be tough to determine. When searching for an experienced attorney, start by considering the length of time they have been in business, and how much of that time was spent doing family law. Also look for attorneys that are involved in professional legal organizations, or those that teach other lawyers. If a lawyer is able to publish books on the topic of divorce and family law, or teach other lawyers, they likely are experienced.
  • Compatibility: For your relationship with your divorce attorney to be successful, you need to be able to trust and feel comfortable with them. You will be sharing details about your marriage that you may feel uncomfortable discussing, and you need to be able to rely on and relate to your attorney's advice. If you do not feel comfortable opening up to an attorney, they likely are not right for you.

Finding an Attorney Once you have established what you are looking for, you can start your search. A great place to start is by asking for referrals. These can come from many different places. Consider asking other professionals in your area. You may know accountants, therapists, or church officials who often work with divorce attorneys, and may be able to recommend one to you. Do you have any connections to other lawyers that do not work within family law? Lawyers commonly know the reputations of their peers, even outside of their practice area. Legal organizations are also an excellent place to look. Many organizations, like the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, require certifications to become a member. These types of organizations are an excellent resource during your search. Do not forget to turn to friends and families for referrals as well. Almost all of us know at least one person who has experienced a divorce. Ask around your social circle and find out if anyone has a recommendation for you. Interview Potential Candidates Once you have a list of a few potential attorneys, consider interviewing them. You may end up hiring the first attorney you meet, or consult with a few potential lawyers before making a decision. The amount of candidates you consider may vary depending on how many lawyers are in your area, the urgency of your case, and how long you have to search. Before interviewing, build a list of topics you want to ask about. Listen to how the attorney responds to your questions, and how they say they would advocate for you. Remember, you should feel comfortable with whoever you choose, and feel that you can truly count on them.

If you are in the Chicago area, a qualified DuPage County divorce attorney is available to consult with you today. Contact the law office of Stock, Carlson & Duff LLC at 630-665-2500 to speak to an attorney.

Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, therapy during divorce, Any divorce, even the most amicable, is a stressful, intense, emotional situation. While everybody certainly hopes that their divorce will happen peacefully, for some, that is not the case. If you are struggling with a high conflict divorce, you may feel like you are drowning in negative energy and stress. Struggling through a tough divorce with a difficult ex-partner can be life consuming, but there are ways to manage your stress and minimize your pain. Here are a few things to keep in mind if you are experiencing a high conflict divorce. Find Help Even the friendliest of divorce cases require the assistance of lawyers and possibly other experts including therapists or accountants. The first thing you can do for yourself, if you are entering a high conflict separation, is to surround yourself with a great team. First, find yourself a qualified attorney. Look for a lawyer that has helped other clients through similar experiences as yours. If you have children, seek out an attorney that has experience in child custody. Ask friends and family members for referrals. Finding a lawyer you can trust to advocate for you is key. A bad lawyer will not only drain you financially, but leave you with stress and uncertainty. Also consider finding a therapist. One of the biggest challenges of going through a tense situation like divorce is being unable to let your emotions out. Bottling and storing your emotions within can take a serious toll on both your mental and physical health. Look for a therapist who will allow you to vent, without letting you spiral into a deeper depression. When you leave your therapist's office, you should feel less stressed and consumed with negative energy. If you leave feeling worse, search for a new therapist.

Help also comes in the form of good friends. Get together with friends who remind you of the bigger picture of life, and not just the temporary situation you are in now. Call on positive friends that can rally around you and help you stay happy. Try your best to laugh, live your life, and enjoy the great company of your friends. Also, you may want to look for one or two close friends that can assist you in stressful times, like in the courtroom.

Be the Bigger Person It is all too easy for even the strongest of people to break down and turn to attacking their soon to be ex during a divorce. Try to avoid letting this unfortunate situation bring out your worst. Even if your ex is constantly attacking you, do what you can to be the bigger person. Choosing to attack your ex partner is only allowing further negative energy into your life. Keep your dignity, and you will be much better off. Find Your Escape In high stress situations like divorce, it can be difficult to focus on the big picture. Constantly remind yourself that this is simply a small chapter in the grand picture of your life. Tell yourself that this divorce will absolutely not define you. A divorce can make you question yourself, so remind yourself that you are much more than this small incident. Your divorce can not go on forever, so in the meantime, find some escapes for yourself. First, try making some long term plans. Arrange a vacation. Book concert tickets. Give yourself something tangible that you can look forward to once this process is over. Many people escape the stress of divorce through exercise. As stated earlier, carrying around major stress is tough on your body. Find an activity that you enjoy, and release your stress. You will feel the positive impact on your body and mind. If you are holding onto anger, perhaps consider boxing. Find someway to release your emotions in a positive, healthy way. This will help you avoid emotional breakdowns and the desire to lash out at your ex. Your escape can also be little things. Cuddle up on the couch with a good book or watch a TV show. Do small, simple things for yourself that help you take your mind off of your current stresses. Try to focus on even the smallest positive things in your life. Spend time with your children. Make a quality meal. Enjoy some time in nature. These small things can help relieve your tension and put your divorce into perspective. No matter what, a high conflict divorce is going to bring with it a spectrum of emotions. While some days will be better than others, the tips above can help you get through this tough phase in your life. Remind yourself that things will be better soon and do your best to stay positive.

As stated above, having the help of a qualified attorney you trust is essential. Speak with an experienced DuPage County divorce attorney today to find some relief. Contact the law office of Stock, Carlson, Flynn and McGrath, LLC at 630-665-2500 to speak to an attorney today.

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