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IL divorce lawyerIt is difficult to imagine life before the Internet or social media. Information that used to be found in libraries can now be found on a computer or phone with the click of a button. Sites such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter are popular with people of all ages and backgrounds. Many individuals find them an ideal way to keep in touch with family or friends who may live far away since they can post photographs and videos of themselves or their kids. Watching a soccer game or musical performance online can be a good substitution if someone cannot be there in person, especially this past year due to coronavirus restrictions. Although there are many benefits of social media, there can be negatives, too, especially if a couple is going through a divorce. In some cases, posts or comments made on a website can be used as evidence in legal proceedings such as asset division, spousal maintenance, or child custody.

Think Before Posting

Connecting with others electronically has become even more prominent during the COVID-19 pandemic. Virtual visits through video conferencing apps or SnapChat and TikTok allow people who are staying at home the ability to stay in touch with loved ones who they cannot see in person. With more time on their hands, people have turned to social media sites to pass the time. However, it is important to be careful about what is posted if you are going through a divorce, as certain things can be misinterpreted and used against you.

Consider these tips regarding social media use while your marriage is ending:

Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, therapy during divorce, Any divorce, even the most amicable, is a stressful, intense, emotional situation. While everybody certainly hopes that their divorce will happen peacefully, for some, that is not the case. If you are struggling with a high conflict divorce, you may feel like you are drowning in negative energy and stress. Struggling through a tough divorce with a difficult ex-partner can be life consuming, but there are ways to manage your stress and minimize your pain. Here are a few things to keep in mind if you are experiencing a high conflict divorce. Find Help Even the friendliest of divorce cases require the assistance of lawyers and possibly other experts including therapists or accountants. The first thing you can do for yourself, if you are entering a high conflict separation, is to surround yourself with a great team. First, find yourself a qualified attorney. Look for a lawyer that has helped other clients through similar experiences as yours. If you have children, seek out an attorney that has experience in child custody. Ask friends and family members for referrals. Finding a lawyer you can trust to advocate for you is key. A bad lawyer will not only drain you financially, but leave you with stress and uncertainty. Also consider finding a therapist. One of the biggest challenges of going through a tense situation like divorce is being unable to let your emotions out. Bottling and storing your emotions within can take a serious toll on both your mental and physical health. Look for a therapist who will allow you to vent, without letting you spiral into a deeper depression. When you leave your therapist's office, you should feel less stressed and consumed with negative energy. If you leave feeling worse, search for a new therapist.

Help also comes in the form of good friends. Get together with friends who remind you of the bigger picture of life, and not just the temporary situation you are in now. Call on positive friends that can rally around you and help you stay happy. Try your best to laugh, live your life, and enjoy the great company of your friends. Also, you may want to look for one or two close friends that can assist you in stressful times, like in the courtroom.

Be the Bigger Person It is all too easy for even the strongest of people to break down and turn to attacking their soon to be ex during a divorce. Try to avoid letting this unfortunate situation bring out your worst. Even if your ex is constantly attacking you, do what you can to be the bigger person. Choosing to attack your ex partner is only allowing further negative energy into your life. Keep your dignity, and you will be much better off. Find Your Escape In high stress situations like divorce, it can be difficult to focus on the big picture. Constantly remind yourself that this is simply a small chapter in the grand picture of your life. Tell yourself that this divorce will absolutely not define you. A divorce can make you question yourself, so remind yourself that you are much more than this small incident. Your divorce can not go on forever, so in the meantime, find some escapes for yourself. First, try making some long term plans. Arrange a vacation. Book concert tickets. Give yourself something tangible that you can look forward to once this process is over. Many people escape the stress of divorce through exercise. As stated earlier, carrying around major stress is tough on your body. Find an activity that you enjoy, and release your stress. You will feel the positive impact on your body and mind. If you are holding onto anger, perhaps consider boxing. Find someway to release your emotions in a positive, healthy way. This will help you avoid emotional breakdowns and the desire to lash out at your ex. Your escape can also be little things. Cuddle up on the couch with a good book or watch a TV show. Do small, simple things for yourself that help you take your mind off of your current stresses. Try to focus on even the smallest positive things in your life. Spend time with your children. Make a quality meal. Enjoy some time in nature. These small things can help relieve your tension and put your divorce into perspective. No matter what, a high conflict divorce is going to bring with it a spectrum of emotions. While some days will be better than others, the tips above can help you get through this tough phase in your life. Remind yourself that things will be better soon and do your best to stay positive.

As stated above, having the help of a qualified attorney you trust is essential. Speak with an experienced DuPage County divorce attorney today to find some relief. Contact the law office of Stock, Carlson, Flynn and McGrath, LLC at 630-665-2500 to speak to an attorney today.


Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois child custody attorney, When you are going through a divorce, it can seem like the world is falling down around you and you cannot get your bearings to begin a new life. You will likely reach out to your friends and closest family for support during the transition, and rely on age-old wisdom about separation and marital dissolution. Sometimes, however, the most common advice isn't always the best to follow — sometimes doing what seems counterintuitive may actually be best for your sanity, and the future relationship with your ex.

The first thing to avoid when going through a divorce that may seem counterintuitive is to refrain from asking everyone you know for their advice or tips. When a person is going through a major life transition, she often wants and needs to share this transition with as many people as possible in an attempt to lessen the burden. This does not work. Dredging up the details of your failed or failing relationship will only bring them to the forefront in your mind, and the advice that you get from the people around you will only add to the chatter and confusion spinning in your head. Trust your instincts. Only you will know when it is best to move out, and only you can determine the next best steps to take when it comes to the separation of property or drafting a child custody arrangement, for example. Even though it may seem more painful to go it almost alone, it is likely better for your psyche than to share you pain with everyone you see.

Another contrary way to help mitigate the emotional effects of your divorce is to allow yourself to feel the pain — it is all right to feel sorry for yourself and allow yourself to be sad. This can be more difficult if you have children and you have to put your best face forward for them, but do no resist the truth in how sad divorce can sometimes be. You can be sad, however, without feeling as if you need to speak to your ex — he or she will not make you feel better, even if old habits of seeking them out to do so die hard.


Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois child support attorney,Minimizing stress during your divorce may seem impossible. No matter how amicable you and your ex intend on being, going through a divorce is bound to be an emotional and stressful experience. Add children into the mix and the situation can get even more intense. While it may seem like the headaches and heartaches of going through a divorce are unavoidable, there are a few tactics that you can employ to lessen the stress and tension.

Before doing anything else, the first step in limiting your stress level is to pay attention to your own emotions. Due to the chaos your life may be in while separating, and even after separation, it is easy to forget to pay attention to yourself and what you are feeling. Seek out a therapist or divorce support group. Simply having a place to let your emotions out can make a huge difference. Exercise can be another great outlet for stress and difficult to process emotions. Avoiding or denying your feelings could lead to much more serious mental health issues, or even possible drug or alcohol abuse. Sharing and processing your feelings will help you move on to a positive place post divorce.

When it comes to your ex, or soon to be ex, being as friendly to each other as possible will help both of you lessen the stress and financial burden of a divorce. Fighting and anger could just lead to a lengthier divorce and more time spent in court. Consider using relaxation techniques if you are having a hard time moving past the negative emotions you have for your ex. If possible, consider having the two of you meet with a mediator together.


A lot goes on emotionally when two people decide to divorce. It is much like grieving a loss of a loved one, because essentially, you are losing someone who you thought would be in your life forever. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, stress can take a toll on the body. Therefore, it is important that while going through the process, you learn how to alleviate some of the stress that could cause common behavioral changes associated with a divorce.

The stress of divorce will manifest differently in men and women, but more often women tend exhibit outward changes such as crying, fatigue, depression, feelings of guilt, fear, and anxiety about the future, mood swings, and sleeplessness. Men and women alike may turn to substance abuse as a means to cope. Coping is a key word, and many women have learned how to cope effectively with these techniques and others.

Learn to Relax

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