How to Handle Awkward Encounters with Your Ex

 Posted on November 06, 2015 in Divorce

If the wounds of your recent divorce are still healing, running into your ex can be emotionally challenging. In a perfect world, everybody would receive ample time to recover and move on from their divorce before that awkward encounter with their ex. In reality, however, unless your ex has moved far away, you still face the chance of running into them somewhere. If you and your ex have children, encounters with your ex from time to time are even more likely. While there is no one way to make these encounters go perfectly, there are a few tactics you can employ to lessen the awkwardness and make the conversation go more smoothly.

If you have children with your ex, maintaining at least basic communication with them is necessary for the well being of your children. During your divorce process, you and your ex likely established a parenting plan, and you will both need to maintain open lines of communication to make co-parenting possible. While the majority of this can be done via phone call, email, or even text message, sooner or later you are going to end up in the same room as your ex, or at least at the same football or soccer game.

Those run-ins, in person, can be especially intense. For those divorcees without children, communicating post marriage is not really necessary, so the first in person encounter with your ex can be even more of a challenge. If your ex still lives somewhere near you, the likelihood that you will eventually run into each other is high. In these awkward situations, you have two choices. Avoid the situation completely, as in run away, or choose to break the ice.

Encountering your ex may leave you feeling sick to your stomach. For those who did not choose to get divorced, the pain of seeing your ex may be especially overwhelming. Below are some tips to make that inevitable awkward run in a little easier for both of you.

Keep Things Short and Friendly

If you notice your ex on the same aisle at the grocery store, or having a drink just down from you at the bar, you might first make awkward eye contact, and wonder if you should say anything or simply pretend you did not notice them. If you do choose to say something, keep things short and cordial. Read the response level you are getting from your ex, and your internal emotions, and know when to cut things short. Exchange pleasantries and then move on. Lingering for too long in a conversation with your ex leaves room for drama or weirdness.

Avoid All Drama

This one might seem like a no brainer, but you may be surprised at how tempting it can be to let your emotions get the best of you during an encounter with your ex. Do your best to avoid bringing up any past issues or feelings. Avoid blaming each other for things better off left in the past, and instead keep the conversation positive.

Acknowledge the Awkwardness

Making a joke can be a great ice breaker. Saying something like, "Wow! This is awkward," can really help relieve the tension. Doing this will help set the tone for what will hopefully be a brief and amicable conversation.

No Lying, Embellishing, or Bragging No matter what place your ex is in, and how their life is going, refrain from bragging, or worse, lying about how things have been for you. This can be especially hard in situations like running into your ex with a new love interest when you yourself have had no luck dating after divorce. Despite your desire to impress your ex, or to boast about how great your new life is, do your best not to. Keep in mind that even though you and your ex are no longer close, they were at one time your spouse, and will easily be able to spot if you're lying or overcompensating. While none of these tactics will help ease the lingering pain of your divorce, they can help make those unfortunate awkward encounters with your ex a little less awkward. Remember the key is keeping things short, sweet, and friendly. If you are still going through a divorce, or considering getting divorced, a qualified DuPage County divorce attorney is available to consult with you today. Contact the law office of Stock, Carlson & Asso. LLC at 630-665-2500 to speak to an attorney. Sources: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/running-into-your-ex-8-tips_5617ee14e4b0082030a24595?utm_hp_ref=divorce&ir=Divorce&section=divorce

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