Facing the Fallacies Associated with the Dissolution of a Marriage

 Posted on January 26, 2015 in Child Custody

Divorce remains prevalent in today's society. In fact, the Divorce Statistics website currently ranks the U.S. divorce rate between 41 and 50 percent for all first time marriages. If you find yourself leaning toward divorce, there are certain fallacies—often associated with the process—in which to be aware.

Debra Macleod, B.A., LL.B, a former couples' mediator and author, addresses these concerns in her book series Marriage SOS. Through her publications, Macleod stresses that divorcing couples often cling to pre-conceived "truths" that may ultimately hinder the overall divorce and healing process.

The Pre-Conceived Notions of Divorce

Divorce as a Problem-Solving Tool: Unless you are involved in an abusive relationship, or your spouse was unfaithful or presents with untreated psychological issues, opting for a divorce when children are involved presents a new set of issues. When parents opt to date, and new adults enter an established family dynamic, problems with child support and visitation may arise.

The Kids Will be Happier: No matter the reason, divorce often leaves children rooting for the home team. According to Macleod, children are often secretly wishing their parents will resolve their issues and forgo a divorce. MacLeod is not alone in this thinking. Studies confirm that children of divorce wrestle with emotional and psychological issues post divorce.

Divorce Allows More Quality Time with Kids: This is not as plausible as one may think. Parental duties for a custodial parent increase while a parent outside the home may feel cheated when it comes to involvement in his or her child's daily activities.

Kids are Resilient: Not always. Macleod alludes to divorce as a trigger of coping mechanisms which allow a child to "adapt" to a new family model. This adaptation can lead to further complications later in adulthood as children of divorce may find themselves opting for divorce themselves.

It Will be Better Next Time: For those hoping for a happier second marriage, the percentages are not optimistic. Subsequent marriages often yield an even higher rate of divorce and are even further compounded by the possible step-relationships involved.

No Regrets Divorce: Debra Macleod does not see this as possible. Once emotions have reached a manageable level with time, most adults will revisit their marriage and decision to divorce with a bad case of the "what-ifs."

Consult a Wheaton Divorce Attorney

Divorce is not necessarily an easy process to undertake. To clear up any misconceptions of your legal rights under the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (750 ILCS 5), please consult the experienced DuPage County divorce attorneys of Stock, Carlson & Asso. LLC. Call today to schedule your consultation.